Day of Reflection

Yesterday wore me out physically and emotionally.

Our first student through the eighth grade "reverse parade" is half Black and half Japanese. I immediately wondered... will he grow up? Will he have a long future?

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I woke up today mad at the world. Again.
Mad at my parents for considering voting for an outright racist White man - again.
Mad at active tweeting educators at my own school for not sharing (via Twitter) resources that can help us dismantle the systemic racism in our nation.
Mad at educator/author White people tweeting about their book(s).
Mad at my "followers" for not retweeting the Anti-Racist LiveBinder that I've been curating for awhile that has helped me become more educated.

I shut the laptop. I realized it was the scrolling on Twitter that was adding to my angst. I showered. I went to Menards with Bob to get supplies for the problem in our yard.

I shut up. I started listening to my thoughts. I started looking with different perspectives. What words came to mind? Glass houses.

I only started noticing my own Whiteness and my own privilege in 2018. I still remember thinking it was meritocracy that got me where I am today. Who am I to say what others need to do? I stepped back, and thought - AGAIN - what can I do?

I've been sharing ONE resource every week day on my Instagram account (which I started back in 2014 to show students how to use social media for GOOD), and today I picked up another book I've been wanting to read. (Thank you, EGVPL and Hoopla for the audiobook access!!)

Maybe this will help me to have more difficult talks with my parents. Maybe this will help me keep DOING things instead of wondering what to do. I've started concrete notes I can use on this document.