Day of Reflection

Yesterday wore me out physically and emotionally.

Our first student through the eighth grade "reverse parade" is half Black and half Japanese. I immediately wondered... will he grow up? Will he have a long future?

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I woke up today mad at the world. Again.
Mad at my parents for considering voting for an outright racist White man - again.
Mad at active tweeting educators at my own school for not sharing (via Twitter) resources that can help us dismantle the systemic racism in our nation.
Mad at educator/author White people tweeting about their book(s).
Mad at my "followers" for not retweeting the Anti-Racist LiveBinder that I've been curating for awhile that has helped me become more educated.

I shut the laptop. I realized it was the scrolling on Twitter that was adding to my angst. I showered. I went to Menards with Bob to get supplies for the problem in our yard.

I shut up. I started listening to my thoughts. I started looking with different perspectives. What words came to mind? Glass houses.

I only started noticing my own Whiteness and my own privilege in 2018. I still remember thinking it was meritocracy that got me where I am today. Who am I to say what others need to do? I stepped back, and thought - AGAIN - what can I do?

I've been sharing ONE resource every week day on my Instagram account (which I started back in 2014 to show students how to use social media for GOOD), and today I picked up another book I've been wanting to read. (Thank you, EGVPL and Hoopla for the audiobook access!!)

Maybe this will help me to have more difficult talks with my parents. Maybe this will help me keep DOING things instead of wondering what to do. I've started concrete notes I can use on this document.

Genius Hour & Black Lives Matter

Day 82 of Quarantine - Wednesday, June 3 2020

I was able to share about Genius Hour again today - on the Teachers Connect platform this time. I can't help but imagine... what if we had started Genius Hour AFTER George Floyd was killed on May 25?

I know my "genius hour" has now shifted to sharing resources on Instagram for my former students. Each day I will share a different resource from the Anti-Racist LiveBinder I curate. That has become my project that I'm picking up again... studying my own whiteness and learning more about what this nation has done to oppress Black humans. The last time I posted on my progress was in August of 2019, and then school took over my life. I know Black humans do not have a "pause" button on racial issues that Whites do.

IN school, I felt less afraid of having the tough conversations, and I believe students felt respected when I was able to make the time for them to ask questions, share stories, and listen to each other. We focused on listening without judgment, sharing our thoughts or ideas in a calm manner, not attacking each other but the issue at hand.

I really didn't feel up to sharing about Genius Hour today. However, the need for students to learn what they want to learn is so important. I know in my heart, that had we started Genius Hour after the protests began, that they'd want to learn more about them, and more about why this is happening. I wish with all my heart that they are doing so now. I hope my daily Instagram resources help them to do so. Today's was the fact that the movie Just Mercy is free on many platforms during this month of June. (I loaned my mom the YA edition of the book - she has yet to read it.)

This is America today. Day 82 of quarantine. Let's all learn more about the reasons behind this, so we can help alleviate the pain and fear:

I do not know the origin of this photo... please let me know if you know.

Graduating Class of 2020

I finished!

AND... I had two extra for my niece and nephew!

They're ready to be mailed... We'll drive to the Arlington Heights post office tomorrow.

Update: FIVE have come back to me. Two of them I'd connected with via Instagram, so I was able to send those out once again.

I can see the end!

I am getting closer... the pieces are falling into place...

Here were the problems I faced...

• My hand cramped up. So... I decided I couldn't write for more than an hour at a time.
• My nice-colored pen ran out of ink. So... I used a substitute. I was able to get more at the grocery store today!
• 
• The graduation cap stickers I got were round. So... I had to cut the hats out to fit on the front of the card. I used the round ones on the front of the envelope (my return address is on the back).
• 
• Once you cut them out, they're soooo hard to peel off!
• 
• I had some cards going out to siblings of students I have now, or students I had in the past. I felt guilty for not sending them a card (but they're not Seniors!). So... I wrote them a teeny separate letter and tucked it in to the card.

I stamped the back of each one...

And this is what they look like!

I really wanted the message to be that these months out of school are just a bump in the road for them, even though it doesn't feel like it right now.

And this is my progress - Out of 85... more are stamped and ready to go than not...

I hope to get them out this weekend! I'm thinking maybe ten will make it back to me because they moved away from the house they were in back in 7th grade. We'll see!

Next up... writing 85 postcards to my current seventh graders...

Update June 6, 2020 - only FOUR were returned to me, and two I got back in the mail with a new address!

My Kick in the Pants

It's the start of Week Seven of the quarantine here in Illinois.

The first two weeks at home felt a little like an extended Spring Break. Week Five brought about changes in how we're trying this "crisis" learning, and my mind and body slumped for quite a bit.

Then... we started talking about genius hour.

We made our heartbreak maps, and then brainstormed more...

This further brainstorming came from these questions: What can you do for yourself? What can you do for others? If you could choose what to learn in school, what would you learn? What would you like to improve upon? What have you always wanted to do but never had the time?

I've been here before. I've tried many genius hour projects. For two weeks. I have stuck with a few, but when I have to choose one as a model for my students, it's got to be something I can stick with.

I've found it. I've found something that's gotten me very excited to do. I feel as if my purpose as a teacher has been restored - if I can accomplish this... I'd like to make and write a personalized letter to each of my 85 students who are now high school Seniors.

Here are my steps so far...

1. Decide how to make them. I decided to use cardstock (instead of a photo or a post card).

2. Head to school to get my cardstock paper.
3. Find the paper cutter on top of my desk.
4. Cut the cardstock paper - first in half vertically (5.5") and then cut the edge off (7.125").
 
5. Fold the paper.
6. Brainstorm the way it can look.

7. Write 2020 on five cards.
8. Write "A stitch in time..." on the front, along with drawn stitches.
9. Write "...with so much more ahead for you!" on the inside, along with more drawn stitches.
10. Create a "2020" template to trace on a window.

11. Quickly try to see if I can see through the card without opening it up again... YES. Yes I can.


12. Create a window in a piece of paper to show me how large to make the words.

13. Put it down for a bit...

Next steps...

Find a place to buy graduation cap stickers to go over the "2020."

Buy envelopes.

Buy stamps.

Keep making more.

Make personal notes in each.

Put a stamp on the back if there's still time in May (I've got a cute one).

Make sure the addresses I have are still correct.

Keep updating and filling in this chart for my students.

Blog more about it when it's all done.

Here's where I made mistakes...

• I started doing the "2020" freehand for each.
• Coming up with the saying was difficult. It used to be (front): A stitch in time... (back) ...one of so many ahead. It just wasn't right. I know somewhere in the middle I'll mention how they'll always be part of the "fabric" of my life... 

Being an Antiracist

I'm not looking for kudos.
I'm not looking to be seen as a "savior."
I simply know I'm not doing enough, so I'll do what I can.
I'm sharing what I'm reading so that other White people may do the same.

I'm near the end of the book How to Be an Antiracist by Dr. Ibram X. Kendi.

I heard Kim Crayton's podcast, and she's sharing thoughts on each chapter here.

After hearing this particular podcast about a strategy to becoming an antiracist...

I saw an Allstate commercial. I sent them this email:

I love many of your Mayhem advertisements. The most recent I saw has Tina Fey driving Mayhem (Saint Bernard). I'm writing to ask you that when you have commercials making one person look dumb (in this case - the other driver), could you at least make them of the same race? Please send my request to whomever is in charge of advertising to make the races (and genders, as well) be the same if you're making one person look worse than the other - much like the Mayhem tailgater commercial. I love the Mayhem commercials - yet not when they perpetuate the idea that people of light skin are in any way superior to others. Thank you!

I have sooooo much more to do!!!

What educators can do:

• Read and share texts written by authors of color.
• Share diverse texts in class, and share stories of those whose progress has been hindered due to white supremacy/polices. (I've saved a very few here. Feel free to add more resources in the comments.)
• Find out what your LOCAL politicians really stand for, then stand up against them in the smaller elections.
• Never group people together - saying all of any race or sexual orientation or political party do or say certain things is totally wrong. Every person has a story not like any other person.

I'm seeing white all over...

It's National Left-Handers Day, you know...

And this is what I see:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This one got to me - I changed it in my mind to "when they assume everyone is white..." I can't imagine what our BIPOC population thinks when all they see is white, white, white.

Ah! Then there was Barack Obama and his mic drop!

THIS one. This one works for me now that I'm seeing so - very - much - whiteness in my life.