Boston Colors

We were in Boston this week!

I did not feel any biases (even though they're there... hiding for now), but I did NOTICE.

This post is only about what I saw.

Fenway - the "green monstah," and red and white all around - shirts, socks, hats...

And white, white, and more white people... all through the stands.

We forked over the moolah for a box seat, and there was a white person in every single seat in our box. The box next to us was white, white, white, a teeny bit of color, and more white.

On the video score board, where they show fans dancing or cheering or eating - white, white, white, white. ONE couple the camera happened on was not white. Very representative of the ball park fans.

(It appeared as if one white fan was trying to hide her use of a vape pen of sorts. It looked like a thumb drive.)

Walking home via a couple of streets and the T (subway system), there are many people asking for money. The ones selling programs, hats, tees, or bobble heads were white. The ones asking for money by jingling a cup or holding a sign were very diverse, including white.

I didn't know how to express what I was thinking in this post, so I figured I'd stick to what I noticed.

Questions I have...
   Does the cost of the tickets affect the color the fans?
   What are the demographics of Boston?
   What are the employment rates in Boston?
   What's the cost of living in Boston?
   How much does a "typical" ticket cost?
   What does a "person of color" mean?
   Is it wrong for me to say "white" and not white?
   Is it okay for me to have no clue what nationality people are when I look at them?
   How can I continue to write about so much I don't know?
   Just what did the guy behind us do for a living? (He currently lives abroad in Ireland, but has a home in Maine - he used his dad's season tickets.)

What I didn't notice...
   The color of the people at the concessions.
   The color of the ticket takers.
   The color of the staff checking our bags as we entered.
   The amount of fans of each and every gender.
   Why didn't I notice? Should I notice?

The very next day, I saw this post - "Why White Teachers Don't Like Talking about a Lack of Diversity." Just a bit more to read.

If you'd like to contribute to this blog, contact @JoyKirr via Twitter, or add a comment below as to how we can contact you. The more voices, the better - we need to keep having the conversations!

Home Depot

A trip to Home Depot is often uneventful for me.

However Julianne Harmatz (@Jarhartz) shared a story about a recent visit. She noticed something. Read her blog post Slice of Life: Hidden Biases to see what she has to say about her own hidden biases...

If you'd like to contribute to this blog, contact @JoyKirr via Twitter, or add a comment below as to how we can contact you. The more voices, the better - we need to keep having the conversations!

I love your pants!

I'm not a shopper.

My mom, however, loves it when I say to her, "I need a new outfit for a presentation," because she knows I'm ready to spend some money. She LOVES helping me spend my money. 😘

Of course, we have to go to Macy's, because they have "quality clothing" there. We parked, we started walking to the door, and there was a woman far ahead of us walking in, as well. I loved her pants! They were so feminine and summer-y! Suddenly, I knew what I wanted to look for.

When we got in, the woman was there - so I took a chance. I came around to her side, noting that she is probably my age or older, and Asian. I started, "Excuse me, but I love your pants! Can I ask you - where did you get them?"

She responded, "Yes, yes. Over there," pointing ahead. REALLY?! What?! It can't be that easy!

My assumptions kicked in, and I hated myself for it as the excitement deflated out of me. I assumed she didn't know much English, as her accent was heavy and she spoke slowly. I thought that she's probably just saying the pants are "over there" in the store. My smile must have faded, but I thanked her and started walking in the direction she pointed, giving up hope of finding them here.

And...

I FOUND THEM. Right away. I found the pants she was wearing. She must have followed me, because suddenly she was there. She had a smile on her face as she saw my excitement return, and she said, "Yes, that's them. I bought them just yesterday!"

My mom and I told her how they look great on her and that we'd definitely try them on.

-----

I've sat on this for a day (yes, I actually saw these pants yesterday - this blog is for our little stories!), and realized something -- I was with my mom.

My mom was born in 1943. My mom's father (Italian - his mom brought him to the US when he was a child) would not speak to anyone of color. Even when I was a teen, Mom had a story of how Papa wouldn't talk with the man who came to fix something in the house. Because he was black.

My mom has many biases that she's shared with us through the years. Her biases may have become mine at times. I went right into assumption mode when the stranger responded to me yesterday.

The rest of the shopping (which was very fruitful, I might add - and of course EVERYTHING was on sale...) went well. I tried to smile at as many people as I could, and I struck up conversation when there was an opportunity.

Writing these small stories has made me notice more of my assumptions and biases. It's about time.


P.S. You wanna see the pants? Come to the Building Learning Communities conference - I'll wear them two Thursdays from today. 😉 

If you'd like to contribute to this blog, contact @JoyKirr via Twitter, or add a comment below as to how we can contact you. The more voices, the better - we need to keep having the conversations!

I'm Privileged. And Spoiled.

I went down a Twitter rabbit hole today.

Push-back from an educator (1) had me looking at this person's timeline. The pinned post led me to another educator (2) upset with yet another educator (3). Looking at this educator's (2) timeline led me to another educator (4) upset with consultants and speakers who are "out of touch" with education. In this post were myriad links to another educator (5) who shared thoughts on two views of education. And this, my friend, got me thinking about inequities in education. And in life. And it showed me - AGAIN - how privileged and spoiled I truly am.

I'm reminded of this daily, actually. There are so many things I don't need to think about. My race (white). My parents (health is good, and money will somehow appear for them, even if they're struggling). My children (whom I never actually had). Money (we live within our means). My classroom (so much choice in the matter - with administrative support). Hmmm... my classroom. That's what these posts were getting at. Many educators (me, included) don't take into account inequities in schools.

My problem is that I don't have that problem. My district is affluent. I get paid pretty well. I have 24-26 students in my courses (homeroom is 30-31). Population at my middle school (of about 1000 students) is as such - I looked it up on our Illinois Report Card:

Our "low income" is 4.8%. IEP'd students - 11%, and we have resource and co-teachers. I don't know how many students have 504s, but that number is increasing yearly. My guess is it's about the same number as those who have IEPs.

And check out the student attendance rate!

I've got a cush job. I've never thought otherwise since I moved to this district in 2002 after seven years as an itinerant special education teacher in another county.

I'm so very privileged.

Just a rambling sampling: I have so many "first-world problems." I had to look up how to spell "privilege" - I get it wrong more often than not. I have a MacBook Air without a CD port, so I can't listen to as many free audio books from my library as I used to. I don't know what I'm going to eat for lunch, as we've got a bunch from which to choose. I have to switch out my clothes from the attic when the seasons change, because I have a small closet in our little ranch house on a quiet street. I have to help my husband in the summer with all his work fixing up the house and yard (today he's back in the crawlspace getting it ready to seal to bring the humidity down - he's retired from Ford Motor Company - and an HVAC expert). Sometimes (like today), it simply means I'm here doing other work while he's down there - just in case he needs anything - I have to entertain myself. I don't know how much to give to the charity my coworker shared. Should I put the top down when driving to meet friends at dinner tonight or will it be too hot? I don't know how we're going to tackle grammar next year - I need to find time to meet with my coworkers to chat about it. Speaking of finding time, I didn't even take the time to truly - completely - read the posts I cited above from those educators - I've got too many YA and ELA books to read on my nightstand next to my clean water I get from turning on a faucet...

Geez. I could go on and on and on...

I have so very many privileges, and I am so very spoiled. What helps me through this is that I am so very grateful. Most of the time, I'm aware of how spoiled I am.

Then I'm reminded by a friend or family member (and myself!) that I made many many choices that helped me along on this path towards prosperity and happiness. Yes! I have always been a saver, and most of the time a hard worker. ... And yet it's privilege that has helped me to be able to make these choices...

I won't keep going on about how fortunate I am, or turn to focus on why gratitude is so important. I want to focus on the rabbit hole I went down and where it took me next.

I simply don't know what to do about it.

I don't know how to make others' lives better - financially or institutionally. I don't have answers. I don't share ideas about inequity in Shift This, because it wasn't my focus. I don't even know how much I actually thought about inequity while I was writing it. Did I ever consider how my race played into what I was saying? I doubt it. Did I consider low-income areas? At times. I did try to make the shifts about what we can do - with or without resources. Did I ever say "all" or "none" or group schools, administrators, teachers, and students into one category? Oh, geez, I hope not.

I DO make sure the books I purchase for my classroom are becoming more diverse. I DO make sure we take time to talk with each other about diversity and individuality. When difficult conversations come up, we'll have them. We'll let them be awkward. My hope is that we recognize that we DON'T know much more than we think we DO know. My priority is on my own students first.

I still don't know what else to do about it.

I know it may not affect my blog posts on my regular teacher blog, as I typically write for a large teacher audience or an ELA-specific audience, but I hope these thoughts will start to stay with me as I write further. As I tweet. As I have conversations with others.

My only conclusion today?
I have so far to grow.
I hope I have a lot of time and opportunities in which to do so.

If you'd like to contribute to this blog, contact @JoyKirr via Twitter, or add a comment below as to how we can contact you. The more voices, the better - we need to keep having the conversations!

Assumptions

Since the word "assumption" was brought up, I've realized I make a TON of assumptions.

Just putting it out there...
     I assume my neighbor is so upset when his wife leaves to visit her family in another country for weeks on end that he just can't get up and get out to do things outside the house.
     I assume the girl down the street does not have a steady job. Or boyfriend.
     I assume the checker at Jewel is not happy with his job.
     I assume my students are all to happy not going to school in the summer.
     I assume my town has tons of money to spare (the fireworks get better and better each year).
     I assume the man I saw walking today doesn't have a job.
     I assume the guy I saw sitting in his car near the creek is up to no good.

What the heck? Why does my brain do this?

Again, it's trying to tell me stories about people I do not know.

In Being the Change, Sara K. Ahmed says implicit bias is...

thought processes that happen without you even knowing it; little mental shortcuts that hold judgments you might not agree with. They are associations with objects and symbols. How much we trust someone based on looking at them. How much value we place on information given the source. How we tend to feel more comfortable with and compassionate toward those who look like us. How we view and measure people’s character can be quick judgments grounded in our implicit bias.

I am willing to change.
How do I train my brain to stop snap judgments?

If you'd like to contribute to this blog, contact @JoyKirr via Twitter, or add a comment below as to how we can contact you. The more voices, the better - we need to keep having the conversations!

Defining Terms

After I posted the first in what I hope to be a series of posts (from YOU, too!) regarding checking our biases, I received this response:

I thought that because I "figured" the women did not work or were rich, that that was prejudging them, which would make it a bias. But the word "assume" seemed to fit, too. (I've learned that to assume is to make an "a$$" out of "u" and "me," so either way - it wasn't good.) So I looked them up in my huge American Heritage dictionary I have on the shelves. Here are the definitions that fit this idea, along with "prejudice" and "stereotype," as these will come into play.

When I immediately thought the women must not work, and must be rich... was it all four of these? Please share your comments below, so my future reflections on my biases can reflect my learning, as well!

Checking My Bias - Walkers

After reading Being the Change by Sara K. Ahmed, I have renewed vigor towards talking with strangers and asking them questions. My husband Bob is my role model for this, and he has taught me that most people want to share. Most people want to talk about themselves. It doesn't look tough for him, but I'm still a bit shy, so I have to force myself to say hello and ask questions. Some days are easier than others, and some instances are easier than others, as well - I've noticed it depends on my own biases about each person. I've already written up (and tried at the end of the last school year) mini lessons for my seventh graders based on identity, and I'm ready to have tough and awkward conversations with my students.

Meagan Parrish (who, thankfully, got me to join a Being the Change Voxer group) suggested Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult, and it hit the spot for a Sunday into Monday read this summer. This book helped me see that I may have hidden biases that I don't even know about.

        

This blog is going to be about checking my own bias.

What biases do I have, and why do I have them?

What is it about my own identity that makes me have these biases?

What could be different about what I assume I know about people?

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I'll start with a story from this morning...

I went for a morning walk today around 8am and saw two women walking the other way with a golden retriever.  I had these three strong biases that quickly went through my mind:
     They must not work.
     They must be rich.
     They might have children (teens is my guess).

I checked myself and thought... why do I think they don't work? Well, if they don't work, they must be teachers or stay-at-home moms, or sell Tupperware or are visiting family here, or they own their own businesses, or they're retired.

I know why I thought these things - because it's ALL I KNOW. It's all this person (me) has been exposed to! I know women in all of those situations, or have been in them myself. The reason I guess they have teens is because they didn't have a stroller or kids with them. If they have children, they must be able to be at home by themselves.

Soooo... what COULD these women do during the day? What could their lifestyle be?
     Maybe they were walking before heading to work.
     Maybe they are fitness gurus (personal trainers, yoga instructors).
     Maybe they have a noon or night shift some place - ANY place! Heck, this means they could work at the hospital, McDonald's, one of the industries in town...

And this, my friends, is a bias towards white women walking.
I, too, was a white woman walking this morning. I don't like that my brain is constantly telling me stories about people I DO NOT KNOW. This is why I needed to start this new blogging project. I am hesitant to share it with others, but I've learned more when I'm vulnerable with others than when I keep things to myself.

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That being said, I told the Twitterverse today...

I knew if I tweeted it out, I'd have to do it. I wasn't planning on sharing my reflections, just like the other projects I've tried on this blog, but then this happened...

Let's do this.

Let's be vulnerable together.

Let's share our own biases.

Let's write long, rambling stories and quick short snippets.

Heck, the writing can even be anonymous.

Contact me - @JoyKirr on Twitter - or put a comment down below with a way for me to contact you. 

Reflect, write, and share. 

Let's start the conversations that get us to look at our own biases. 

We may learn more about each other, tear down stereotypes, and start thinking differently.